Free-Speech Kit (including gun)


They say that the Second Amendment protects the First Amendment.

The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government. –Thomas Jefferson

Or, if you’re not someone who depends on old dried pieces of parchment to “grant you your rights”, the same can be said as “The Right To Bear Arms protects The Right To Free Speech.”

When they took the 4th Amendment, I was quiet because I didn’t deal drugs.
When they took the 6th Amendment, I was quiet because I am innocent.
When they took the 2nd Amendment, I was quiet because I don’t own a gun.
Now they have taken the 1st Amendment, and I can only be quiet.
Lyle Myhr

I love The Right To Bear Arms AND The Right To Free Speech. I use them both every day, if by “bear arms” you mean “own and carry guns and knives.” But I don’t actually exercise my right to “use” my arms, I’ve seen no need so far in my life. Hopefully I will never have a need. I do like putting holes in pieces of paper though, and do so often.

If they want to stop the social disturbances, they should stop disturbing us.

I propose that people who love The Right To Bear Arms and The Right To Free Speech practice both, all day, every day. And they say the press is only free if you own one. Today “a printing press” means something different than it did in 1776. Hell, I WRITE books for a living and I don’t usually read books. Today, it’s all about the Interwebs, baby.

To that end, I propose “Free Speech Kits.” They are basically a portable radio station/TV station/newspaper combined with the ability to defend that. Here are two methods:

BASIC FREE SPEECH KIT (suitable for the elderly, the infirm, and responsible children. Click images for larger view.):

Clockwise from bottom: USB drive with encrypted podcasting intros and outros, lists of media contacts, and wireless connectivity; .38 special snubnose revolver, ZOOM H2 digital audio recorder a.k.a. “Studio on a stick”, still camera capable of shooting low-rez video with audio. Doesn’t include a computer, because, hey, they’re everywhere, even in tax-eater funded public libraries.

The Basic free speech kit can be carried to look like a lunch box or tool kit. If you use a black box and wear black pants and a dark shirt, it will blend in quite nicely and people will barely even notice you’re carrying it.

ADVANCED FREE SPEECH KIT (suitable for real men, and real women.):

Left to Right: small laptop computer running Linux, with extensive encryption programs, USB drive with encrypted podcasting intros and outros, lists of media contacts, and wireless connectivity (not shown, it’s under the computer); hunting knife for when you run out of ammo or if you need to be quiet, Yugo AK-47 underfolder rifle, extra loaded mags for said rifle, cell phone for calling your lawyer or streaming an arrest live to the web, ZOOM H2 digital audio recorder a.k.a. “Studio on a stick”, encrypted hard drive, lavaliere microphone for great-sounding on-the-spot interviews (in plastic bag), video camera capable of shooting high-rez video with pristine audio. Both the video camera and the Zoom H2 use SD cards, and the laptop has a card reader, so you don’t need to carry cables or take the time and hassle of importing media from tape.

If you have the right look, you can even pull off carrying this case while looking like an unarmed beatific hippie Occupy Wall Street type. Yay!

If you do, it’s recommended you keep the revolver from the basic free speech kit in your purse, so you can fight your way to your rifle in the guitar case.

Note: this post is for amusement only. We do not recommend concealing weapons against any laws, nor do we recommend children use weapons unsupervised.


8 thoughts on “Free-Speech Kit (including gun)”

  1. The third photo, not only does the design on the case look like a cat, if you click on the photo and view it large, there are two kitties hiding in the bottom of the photo!

  2. Kinda harkens back to gangsters with Tommy Guns in violin cases, if that actually ever happened outside the movies!


  3. I love this. It’s a survival kit for an increasingly dystopian world. And if I ever needed to conceal a rifle, that’s exactly how I would do it.

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